| are a martial arts instructor today, odds are that | | | | titles. |
| you began teaching classes for your instructor | | | | In moving from a martial arts student to a martial |
| shortly before or after you earned your black | | | | arts school owner, a few things may have |
| belt. You became a good teacher, but you were | | | | happened to you as an assistant teacher. Your |
| still under the control of your instructor, and you | | | | instructor may have been overusing you |
| loyally taught and followed his syllabus. | | | | and taking advantage of your loyalty. This is |
| This is usually a great period in our lives. We can | | | | never pleasant, because you have to face some |
| teach without risk but, more importantly, we | | | | cold, hard realities, and your relationship with your |
| have gained control of a very important part of | | | | instructor begins to change. Your spouse, family, |
| our new life and are in a position of power. People | | | | or friends may have suggested that you were |
| bow to us and call us Mr. or Ms. or a title of some | | | | being exploited. They may have urged you to |
| sort that we associate with prestige, such as | | | | open your own martial arts school. Perhaps even |
| Sensei. That’s a big turnaround for | | | | a student offered to back you financially. |
| many of us. That is the beauty of the martial | | | | Being loyal, you decided to be upfront with your |
| arts. The arts provide you with a healthy way of | | | | instructor and tell him you were considering |
| redefining yourself and your future. | | | | opening a school. What was his reaction? Either he |
| I was an 18-year-old bus boy clearing tables in a | | | | went for your throat or insisted you pay him a |
| restaurant during the day and Mr. Graden, black | | | | percentage of your lifetime earnings. |
| belt teacher, at night. My days were filled with, | | | | Why did he react that way? Odds are, because |
| Graden, clear off table six, fast! My nights | | | | he went through the same cycle of moving from |
| were, Mr. Graden, would you please speak to | | | | no control to total control about a decade before |
| my son? He’s having trouble in school, and | | | | you, and then you threatened that control. He had |
| he looks up to you so much . . . Which do you | | | | you, his golden child, teaching classes. You |
| think appealed to me and fueled my ambition? | | | | symbolized his success as an instructor, but now |
| If you started your training in the 1970s, or | | | | you were making the biggest decision in your |
| maybe even the 1980s, because of the Kung Fu | | | | martial arts life without his control? Not without a |
| TV show and the many Kung Fu movies, there | | | | fight you weren’t. |
| was what I call an implied wisdom in | | | | This is often the beginning of the end of your |
| earning a black belt. As a black belt, especially a | | | | relationship with your instructor. If he can’t |
| master, you were perceived as somehow | | | | control you, he may perceive you as disloyal. |
| knowing more about life than the average person. | | | | Does this sound familiar? I taught you |
| This image of the martial arts master as being a | | | | everything you know. You owe me! How dare |
| master of life was reinforced by the martial arts | | | | you take what I taught you and use it against |
| movies, television shows, and magazines. | | | | me? Mind you, he will probably view anything |
| To this day, that prestige has tremendous pull and | | | | less than totally capitulating to his demands as |
| attraction for martial artists. Why do you think | | | | working against him. |
| black belts seem in such a rush to call themselves | | | | Contrast this with a college professor. If you |
| Master, Grand Master, Senior Master, or Supreme | | | | attend law school, your law professor wants |
| Grand Master? In the real world we have master | | | | nothing more than for you to go out and be |
| mechanics, master sergeants, chess masters, and | | | | successful using what he taught you. That is his |
| even chess grandmasters, but only martial artists | | | | reward. He doesn’t ask for a percentage |
| insist on actually being called Master. | | | | of your revenue. |
| On the popular TV show Seinfeld, a small-time | | | | One school owner would bring each student into |
| conductor insistedeveryone, including his girlfriend, | | | | his office right before he tested for black belt. He |
| call him "maestro." I wonder if sometimes we | | | | pulled a .38 revolver out of his drawer, set it on |
| don't generate some laughs ourselves with these | | | | the desk, and explained, Just to be clear. |