| After the death of a spouse you of course are in | | | | They would have wanted you to continue living |
| shock, disbelief and numbness. There is a "fog" | | | | your life, find peace and happiness. They will |
| that seems to set in which is natures way of | | | | always be with you in your heart. That will never |
| protecting you from the pain you are suffering. | | | | change. |
| The fog lifts gradually over time and reality starts | | | | When you have gone through the grieving |
| to set in. | | | | process and you feel you are ready and only |
| It happens at different times for different people | | | | when YOU are ready then is the time to decide |
| but eventually you wonder how you will go on | | | | what you are going with the rest of your life; |
| without your spouse. It doesn't matter if you | | | | what to do and how to do it. |
| were together for many, many years or only a | | | | * If you have never worked or haven't worked in |
| short time; you are used to the two of you living | | | | a while then you will need to find a job if finances |
| together as one and now there is only "one" | | | | are an issue. |
| person; you that is left to go on to attempt to | | | | * If finances are not an issue, then you may |
| make and find a new life for yourself and how to | | | | want to consider volunteering at a hospital, nursing |
| do it. | | | | home or a soup kitchen. There are many worthy |
| Some people are self-sufficient and are quite able | | | | causes that need volunteers to help out all of the |
| to manage things on their own such as paying bills, | | | | time. |
| balancing the checkbook, and doing little odd jobs | | | | * Even if you don't need the money, a part-time |
| around the house. But what if your spouse was | | | | job will help you establish new friendships and get |
| the one who managed all of these tasks? You | | | | yourself in a routine of getting out of the house. |
| now have to learn to manage the household, the | | | | * Start a hobby such as scrapbooking, |
| finances and odd jobs yourself now without the | | | | photography, quilting or sewing or making some |
| support of your spouse. | | | | kind of craft projects to occupy your mind. If |
| In addition to the grieving process you are going | | | | you had previous hobbies you had put aside for a |
| through, this is an added stress on you. Maybe | | | | while, start getting involved in those activities |
| the income that your spouse provided and you | | | | again. |
| have now lost has caused you to have to make | | | | * At one time or another, the issue of dating |
| some major decisions such as selling some things, | | | | again may or may not cross your mind. This is |
| selling the house and moving to a smaller house or | | | | not something to feel guilty about. Again, only do |
| even moving in with relatives. More stress that | | | | this when YOU are ready. Don't let people try to |
| you do not need but you have to adapt and get | | | | push you into something you are not ready for. If |
| through this experience the best way you can. | | | | a new relationship is out of the question at this |
| Seek the advice of a relative or trusted friend to | | | | time or maybe never, that is your decision. Many |
| help you with some of the decisions you have to | | | | people live perfectly normal and happy lives |
| make. You are not thinking clearly and another | | | | without a partner, so it is up to you what you |
| opinion may make all the difference in your future | | | | make of your life from now on. |
| down the road. | | | | Grieving the loss of a spouse is not an easy thing |
| Once all of the household and financial matters are | | | | to accept or adjust to. Remember the good |
| taken care of, then you begin to feel as though | | | | times spent with each other in your lives. Be |
| you no longer "have a place in the world." Who | | | | proud of having had the good fortune and the |
| are you without your spouse? What are you | | | | wonderful experience of loving them and hold |
| going to do with the rest of your life without your | | | | dear to your heart that they loved you. Sadly, |
| spouse? | | | | there are some people who never experience this |
| As hard as it is, you cannot give up. Your husband | | | | wonderful feeling of true love. |
| or wife would not have wanted that for you. | | | | |