How to Help Someone Mourning the Death of a Pet

Have you ever witnessed a friend or neighbordifferences, some demonstrative others very
distraught over the death of a pet? If you havereserved. Do not judge the depth of grief by
never owned a pet, or considered having one,outside appearances. Respect all expressions of
were you surprised to see someone crying?grief. Some individuals will hide their grief over fear
Actually, such a response is just as normal asothers will ridicule their behavior. Be sure to include
when a close friend or loved one dies.children in learning about grief and death through
Here's what you should know about helpingthe death of the pet.
someone who is mourning the death of a pet6. Keep in mind, especially with older adults living
since there is great sorrow involved that can goalone, some companion animals may be the only
on for long periods of time.family the person has. Thus the animal is one of
1. Just as in the death of a friend or familythe few or perhaps the only one the mourner
member (and most animals are considered partreceived unconditional love from.
of the family), grief is to be expected due to the7. If other losses have preceded the death of a
degree of emotional investment in the object ofpet, it can make the pet death more difficult to
loss. Emotional investment means caring anddeal with. For example, if a pet owner has had to
concern; it is love in-depth. Only the mournergive up driving, has had a debilitating illness, has
knows the depth of that investment. Sometimeshad friends move away, or experienced the
pet grief is more intense than the grief associateddeath of a loved one, these or other losses can
with the death of a loved one.easily result in bereavement overload. The
2. Give permission to show emotion by somethingmourner will especially need a nurturing and
you say or do. Give the person a hug and say,understanding community at this time of transition.
"This must bring deep hurt" or "I'm so sorry to8. Guilt, anger or depression can also be
hear that." Use the name of the pet when youassociated with pet loss. Guilt is the most
can. Recognize how close the relationship wascommon reaction, especially if the owner had to
between the pet and the mourner and encouragehave the pet euthanized, was not there when the
him/her to talk about the illness or what led up topet died, or did not recognize the illness until the
the death.later stages.
3. Offer to be of service in some way. Bring food9. Help create or suggest a memorial. A picture,
over to the home, if appropriate. Go with thetoy, or collar can be used as a way to honor or
owner to the pet cemetery. Provideremember the pet. An object belonging to the
transportation. Simply showing you are aware ofanimal can be encased in Lucite or placed on a
the impact of the death will be of great help toshelf that can be easily viewed.
your friend.No longer do pets play a low key role in homes
4. Review the relationship the person had with thethroughout the country. Rather, they have come
pet in a gentle caring way. Ask questionsto fill the role of companion, supporter, and old
regarding how long the pet was part of the familyfriend. Consequently, the death of a pet can
and where he/she came from. Encourage storybecome a major grief experience for the young
telling involving what the pet did or did not do. Allor old alike. Become sensitive to the role the
of this will give you a better idea of what the lossanimal played in the life of the family and you will
means to the person.be better equipped to provide ongoing support
5. Grief over the death of a beloved animal is justand appropriate remembrances that will be
as individual as grief over the death of a familyimmensely helpful in the months ahead.
member. There will be a wide range of