| I grew up with a brother and a sister. Yes, we | | | | friend. She used to call me and we would chat for |
| had sibling rivals, but for the most part, we really | | | | hours. I missed that. I kept her telephone voice |
| loved and cared about each other. Surviving the | | | | recording for years just to replay her voice. |
| death of a sibling and living through that kind of | | | | There is nothing to prepare you for death and |
| grief is unexplainable. | | | | dying. The advantage of this circumstance is that |
| I was the middle child, my brother the oldest and | | | | we all grieved as a family and offered support to |
| my sister the youngest. People thought I was the | | | | each other. I could never have done this alone. |
| oldest because I acted like it. I always protected | | | | My mother had a much harder time than I did and |
| my siblings and they would come to me for their | | | | I felt so guilty for being the one who was still |
| own problem solving. I loved how dependent they | | | | alive. I got over that though because I know that |
| were on me. | | | | my mother would have felt the same had it been |
| My sister was the most dependent especially | | | | me and the pain for her would not have been any |
| after the divorce of my parents. She was | | | | easier. September 18, 1996 was certainly a day |
| daddy's little girl and she couldn't understand why | | | | of mourning and the grieving mother, sister, |
| our parents would part. I was somewhat relieved | | | | father and brother could not handle it by |
| when the divorce took place because there was | | | | themselves, but together we have healed over |
| so much drama and confusion in my household | | | | the years. |
| when my parents were together. I wanted some | | | | Living through the grief has been a challenge. I |
| peace even if that seemed selfish. | | | | won't deny it. There were days when it seemed |
| However, my sister had a hard time with the | | | | like I could not go on. I would search through my |
| divorce and she relied on me for strength to get | | | | sister's journal to read her thoughts and some |
| through it. I supported her as much as I could | | | | things would make me smile and others would |
| even though I was only two years older than she | | | | make me cry. |
| was. My sister took a different path than I did in | | | | We had to survive for each other and for my |
| life and she ended up living in the Bahamas for ten | | | | sister's children. We had very little choice. There |
| years trying to escape her past. | | | | was still something to live for and I had my own |
| She had three lovely children, which I adored and | | | | family as well. We took it one day at a time and |
| two of them lived with her and one lived with my | | | | called each other for support and to give support. |
| mother. One evening when my sister was leaving | | | | You will need a support system to get through |
| work to pick up her seven year old from after | | | | the grief whether it is family or professional help. |
| care, she tried to overtake a car in a hurry to | | | | Don't try to go through this difficult journey by |
| reach her daughter. Another vehicle was | | | | yourself. You need someone. I want to encourage |
| approaching and she tried to beat it, but couldn't. | | | | you that it will get better so be strong and let the |
| There was a head-on collision and she lost her life. | | | | healing process take place by grieving for your |
| She was the only one who died in that accident. | | | | loved one. It is a process that must take its |
| It was devastating. I had lost my very best | | | | course. |