| We die and are born again, knowing the truth | | | | others emotions and negative thinking. I'm really |
| about the power inside each of us. At some point | | | | good at it too. This recent angry energetic |
| in life along the way our minds develop and we | | | | transference arrived obliquely, via one of my blind |
| forget, yet it doesn't mean we no longer have | | | | spots. A phenomenon crucial to my personal |
| access to the memory of this knowledge and its | | | | growth, this is why it helped me to evolve. |
| related abilities. It is truly within our human | | | | It is my time now to be taken down by the |
| capability profile to do "these things and greater," | | | | machine gun fire of another's anger. Why anger? |
| as Jesus prophesied we would. | | | | Well, because it's familiar to me, because I've |
| It's just a matter of finding the key and opening | | | | often been motivated and empowered by anger, |
| the door. Once we believe it is open, we will fly | | | | and more important, I have many memories of |
| out from behind our self-imprisonment. | | | | death by anger and I desperately need to break |
| Meanwhile though, in our current victim reality, we | | | | free from it's claws and control over me. I have a |
| believe in suffering--negatively. Do you know that | | | | deeply lodged fearful belief that I will die, |
| there is such a state as positive suffering? This | | | | metaphorically, at the hand of someone else's |
| side of the suffering coin has a purpose. Like | | | | rage, and have used my own rage as a buffer, |
| strength conditioning or any other practice that | | | | an equalizer, to fight back, time and time again. |
| motivates a person to go the distance, positive | | | | A belief so strong, I have manifested it on the |
| suffering expands a person beyond their | | | | physical plane, many times. |
| self-imposed limits. Challenging, no doubt, it is a | | | | This is my resurrection; well, it's one of them |
| place of initiation, a place from which someone will | | | | anyway. I need to find a way to trust that I am |
| eventually graduate and slide into the river of | | | | simultaneously powerful and vulnerable enough to |
| ease. | | | | not only let it pass through me, killing me once |
| In a causal (not casual) relationship to the soul's | | | | again, I also need to remember I can stand up |
| purpose, a person who is positively suffering is | | | | enlivened afterward and say, "no," this is no longer |
| sincere, learning to trust something greater, both | | | | my reality. And by making the statement that I'm |
| inside and outside of themselves. Although very | | | | ready to change how I identify myself, I've called |
| vulnerable and soft, this person is also chomping | | | | in this experience. |
| at the bit of transformation. This person begs for | | | | Watching "The Matrix" over and over, almost |
| forgiveness and demands the same from | | | | obsessively, I know that Neo's self-discovery is |
| everyone, constantly sacrificing the ego to | | | | my potentiality. And although I have realized this |
| communicate in any situation, at any cost. | | | | to be my truth for a decade now, I have never |
| This is the beginning of an honest and humble | | | | moved beyond the place where I, each and |
| unraveling of feelings, expressions of true human | | | | every time, become a victim of my |
| beingness, as well as pain and sadness from an | | | | circumstances, collapsing as though dead. At best, |
| empathic place. Not entirely clear about where the | | | | I drop into apathy and self suppression, beginning |
| trail will lead next, this person perceives all others | | | | the long and steep climb out of the well of |
| as righteous, no matter where they sit in | | | | darkness yet again. It's really quite tiresome |
| relationship to their own purposes. Almost | | | | pushing through the same old birth canal multiple |
| contrarily, this person is able to stand-up for | | | | times. |
| themselves intuitively and constructively. | | | | That is, until today. Today I have taken a step to |
| The state of positive suffering is a stepping stone | | | | meet myself in a different way. |
| to full responsibility which is the only ticket out of | | | | Of course it's never really over, at least not for |
| the illusion. Jesus and Neo in the Matrix both | | | | me and not for Neo. Like it or not, we will all be |
| experienced it. | | | | reborn somehow, at some point, if only to learn |
| So let's wander back into the scene with the | | | | the most important Universal truth: Yin and Yang. |
| angry friend and the possible reasons I, or any of | | | | Like Neo, the more adept we become, the more |
| us, may have taken on that energy, in | | | | adept becomes our enemy. As our enemy |
| consciousness or not. If I knew it was coming, I | | | | grows, we realize we've been fighting our own |
| might have reacted in my normal, | | | | shadow, an integral part of ourselves and the |
| pre-programmed way, resisting or dodging it. This | | | | essence of oneness and individuation. |
| I have done many times. I've made a great | | | | "You mean I'm going to dodge bullets? No, I mean |
| practice of first resisting, judging or framing it in | | | | when the time comes, you won't have to. |
| my mind somehow, then dodging the bullets of | | | | |