| We've all been there, you've just heard the news | | | | simple as mowing the lawn, driving to the shops - |
| that your friend has lost a loved one close to | | | | but it can help to take the sting out of those |
| them, but what do you say? | | | | "firsts" that you have to do without your loved |
| Here's a few tips to avoid the common mistakes | | | | one. |
| that people make when friends are grieving. | | | | - Remember Holidays & Occasions - these |
| - Say Something! - some people are so worried | | | | can be really tough. Whether it's Christmas, |
| about saying the wrong thing that they say | | | | birthdays or anniversaries (including the |
| nothing at all - this is even worse than saying | | | | anniversary of their death), people who have |
| something that you feel isn't helpful. | | | | been seemingly strong can crumble as they have |
| - Offer To Help - it doesn't have to be much - | | | | to face their loss all over again. |
| just taking round a meal to someone who's | | | | - and finally, Listen! - it may not be rational, |
| grieving can help. It shows that you care and | | | | sensible or coherent - but listening with a |
| helps them to feel cared for and supported. | | | | sympathetic ear (without offering suggestions or |
| - Send A Card - even if you know they've | | | | answers!) to someone who is on an emotional |
| received dozens or hundreds of cards, it's | | | | rollercoaster can be helpful. It can help move |
| important to send one. It shows that you are | | | | them on through the difficult process of grieving |
| thinking of them and lets them know that you've | | | | and is a sign of true friendship. |
| heard their news. | | | | Mother Theresa captured it well when she said |
| - Keep In Touch - what's even worse than losing | | | | "Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is |
| a loved one is when all the people you thought | | | | the worst poverty of all". She described it as the |
| were your friends are too embarrassed or | | | | leprosy of the West. |
| awkward to keep in contact. Make regular phone | | | | Simply by bucking the trend, stepping out of our |
| calls (put it in the diary if need be) or invite them | | | | comfort zones and choosing to be there with our |
| round for a meal from time to time. | | | | friend through their grief you can make a |
| - Offer Practical Help - it might be something as | | | | significant difference. |