| A friend or family member of a friend has just | | | | thought of and acknowledged. The method differs |
| died. And you are wondering what to do when | | | | slightly. |
| someone dies. | | | | So here are some words to get you started: |
| You want to let your friend know that you are | | | | "I knew your mother and always enjoyed a visit |
| aware of their pain, that you are thinking about | | | | with her. I will miss that. " |
| them, that you know they are having a hard time | | | | "I worked with your father for many years and |
| right now. You decide that sending a sympathy | | | | we made quite a difference in that company |
| card would be something that you could do. You | | | | working together on many projects! It was a |
| go to the store, you purchase a card that says | | | | surprise and a shock to learn of his death. My |
| something that makes sense to you and also to | | | | thoughts and prayers are with you and your |
| your friend. And now you are sitting at home | | | | family." |
| thinking "Now what? What do I write on the | | | | "Although I will be out of town on the day of the |
| card?" I want to recommend that just signing | | | | funeral I just wanted you to know that I will be |
| your name is not enough. That putting a few | | | | thinking of you. We'll get together when I am |
| personal words about how you feel about the | | | | home again." |
| person or the person who died is important. It | | | | "Megan made me laugh. She would often dress up |
| could be as simple as "I'm thinking about you at | | | | in funny hats and wear them to work because |
| this time" to something longer and more personal. | | | | she said our office was too somber. How we will |
| Sometimes, if a person has had a death in their | | | | miss her laughter and her ability to make us |
| family and have received sympathy cards, they | | | | laugh!" |
| can remember back to what others said that | | | | Even though I never met your mother, I know |
| made a difference to them and they can use that | | | | how much she meant to you. Remember that |
| as a guide. But that isn't always the case. Often | | | | you have many friends surrounding you and |
| times a person is lucky enough that there have | | | | caring about you." |
| been no deaths in their family or close circle and | | | | If you knew the person who has just passed |
| so you have no idea what to do when someone | | | | away, you might tell a little story about that |
| dies. So let me tell you about my experiences. | | | | person. Here is an example of what I might have |
| My mother died a few years ago and I received | | | | sent to my cousin when his mother died: |
| sympathy cards. I received sympathy cards from | | | | "Your mother was the hostess of the Island. |
| friends, family, people I worked with, and people | | | | Whenever we visited the island, of course we |
| that worked with my husband. It was very | | | | would stop at Margaret's house. We'd have |
| comforting receiving each and everyone of those | | | | morning coffee and freshly baked buns at her |
| cards. I highly recommend sending cards because | | | | kitchen table. Usually we wouldn't be the only |
| it helped me to remember that even though my | | | | company at that table. I remember her standing |
| mother had died, there were people still here on | | | | over her counter, scooping flour out of her |
| earth that loved or cared about me! But then I | | | | specially designed flour cupboard and intent on |
| am such a feeling person! It is a good thing to do | | | | making her next batch of buns. She always was |
| and what to do when someone dies. | | | | smiling and she always had an optimistic |
| When my husband's father died, he also received | | | | perspective of life. I can still hear her telling me |
| sympathy cards. This morning I asked him if they | | | | that "Deek (the old Labrador Retriever) wasn't a |
| were meaningful to him. His response was that | | | | house dog - one swing of his tail and he would |
| any kind of acknowledgment is important to him. | | | | wipe the coffee table clean!" I laugh every time I |
| The cards that he received with just a name of | | | | hear her words in my head." |
| them didn't really mean anything to him. However | | | | You don't have to write an essay. You may |
| if someone wrote him a note that had more | | | | choose a few good words about keeping the |
| meaning. He also said it was just as meaningful to | | | | person in your thoughts and prayers or about |
| have a phonecall or a personal interaction with a | | | | missing the person who died. Whatever you say, |
| person. A plain card wasn't that meaningful to him. | | | | be sure it comes from the heart. |
| It is important to think about your friend and think | | | | I hope that this short article will help you know |
| about what would be meaningful and helpful and | | | | what to do when someone dies and give you a |
| comforting to them. The common thread | | | | start to writing sympathy cards that will be |
| between my husband and me is that we are | | | | meaningful to the people who receive them. |