What to Do When Someone You Love Dies - Do You Know What to Do?

Do you know what to do when someone youtimes. "What should I do when you die?" He
love dies? Do you know what that person wantsshrugs his shoulders and says 'it doesn't matter'. I
to happen to their body? Do you know if theyhave finally come to the realization that it doesn't
want a service in a church, in a park, in a funeralmatter to him so I can go ahead and do
home? Do you know what the papers are thatwhatever I see fit. So now I have a plan. But it
you will need in order to execute all the detailstook me a while to figure out that he was telling
that have to be taken care of when a personme that it didn't matter. He wasn't saying he didn't
dies?want to think about it or make a decision. He was
When someone you love dies it is a traumaticsaying I was in charge.
time and if you don't know what that personOn the other hand I have been very clear and
wants and how to go about doing all those thingseven put some of my wishes in my will. Either
that need to be done you can increase the stressmy husband or my children will carry out my
for yourself. It is always hard to focus on whatwishes. It is written down. I haven't gone into
do when someone dies when they are still alive.detail - the details of a service for instance are
However it will make things much easier for youbest decided by the people that are left behind.
if, for instance, you have discussed finalThe funeral or memorial service is about giving
arrangements with your parents, your spouse andsolace to the mourners as much as it is honoring
any other close relative that you may bethe deceased. I have ideas about what I would
responsible for.like. But if they don't get carried out, that will be
Some people have visited a memorial society andtheir choice and meeting their need.
have chosen their final resting place and have paidWhen someone you love dies you will need not
the money and all you have to do is walk in andonly to make the final arrangements but you will
put the final touches on the obituary, service andneed to know where their important papers and
reception afterward. Others have done nothing ofdocuments are kept. This is information that you
the sort and don't even want to think about whatalso should find out and make a note of so that
to do when someone (including themselves) dies.when the time comes you aren't searching or
If your loved ones have not brought up thebeing upset with yourself for not having found out
subject with you, perhaps you should broach theat an earlier date. Knowing what to do when
subject yourself. Lots of people don't want to talksomeone dies is invaluable information because
about their death. They are afraid that it will lurewhen you are grief stricken things can be hard
death to them. They are superstitious! In order toand if you have a list of what you need to do,
prepare, you may need to think about a relaxingyou are aware of the person's final arrangement
setting in which you can bring up the subject andwishes and you know where the important
have an informal chat with them about theirdocuments are, you will be in much better shape
wishes. You might tell them what you would like ifto handle the death and to give time to the
you died. And then gently ask them what theyhonoring of your loved one's memory.
would like. Tell them that it would be a lovingWith a small amount of preparatory work you
gesture to you if they would give it somecan know what to do when someone you love
thought and tell you what they have decided.dies and then you can pay attention to the other
This isn't foolproof by any means. I have trieddetails. It will be a wise and loving act to be
having this conversation with my husband manyprepared.