| How do you find the courage to break a | | | | want to leave jagged edges in any case. They're |
| relationship up when you know in your heart it's | | | | sharp and dangerous and can hurt both of you |
| over? | | | | for a lot longer than a clean break. |
| As well as the worry that you'll hurt the other | | | | Take heed, however, that being the one to break |
| person, there's also the fear that you won't cope | | | | the relationship up can bring not only pain but |
| with the tidal wave of emotion you imagine you'll | | | | additional guilt. You did it - and you have to live |
| feel too. | | | | with yourself. |
| If in your heart you know it's time to break your | | | | Here's how to think of it. You wouldn't give a |
| relationship up, you don't want to prolong the | | | | malfunctioning machine to anybody, would you, |
| anguish for either of you. Here are some tips for | | | | least of all someone you care about? So why |
| avoiding the "breaking up blues." | | | | would you want to inflict your "malfunctioning" |
| First, let's face a stark fact. When a relationship | | | | emotions on someone you've shared such |
| breaks up people hurt. Relationships don't break up | | | | precious moments with? If love has died or is |
| on their own; someone has to do it! Very rarely is | | | | waning, it is ironically your final act of love, as far |
| it by mutual agreement, and even then, there's | | | | as the relationship is concerned, to own your |
| still a chance that one of you will be more | | | | feelings, voice them and leave. Once you've |
| reluctant than the other. | | | | acknowledged your heart's true feelings, to do |
| The truth, however, is that holding onto someone | | | | otherwise is effectively to lie. |
| in a relationship where love has perished is | | | | Remember, though, that just because you were |
| effectively hurting them anyway. Besides, they | | | | the one to break the relationship up doesn't mean |
| probably know. They may want to face the fact, | | | | you don't hurt too. Let yourself grieve - you're |
| but it's very rare that a lover doesn't sense | | | | entitled to. |
| something's wrong. One of you has to take the | | | | Finally, I will pass on a quote I once heard that I |
| initiative and it might as well be you. The sooner | | | | have found very helpful over the years: |
| you find a way to mention that maybe it's time | | | | "Some people come into your life for a reason, |
| to break the relationship up, the sooner you put | | | | some for a season and some for a lifetime." |
| both of you out of misery. | | | | You are not under obligation to stay together. |
| Once the decision is out in the open, act as | | | | You are under obligation to stay happy, and that |
| quickly as you can. To minimize pain for both of | | | | includes doing the kindest thing for your partner |
| you don't hang on until it's "convenient" for you to | | | | too. He or she has the same entitlement. |
| go, and don't back pedal by having a conversation | | | | If it's time to break the relationship up, face it, do |
| about patching things up. Making a clean break is | | | | it cleanly, and break the relationship up while you |
| kinder to everyone. If one or both of you is | | | | can both walk away with your heads held high. |
| harbouring any hope of starting again, you won't | | | | |