When Someone Dies, What Do You Do For Their Loved One?

What do you do for a friend when they have2.) Shovel the driveway
suffered a loss? What do you do for them when3.) Weed the garden
someone dies in their family?  Recently a young4.) Take the dog for a walk
woman who had lost her grandfather wanted to5.) Take the children for a few hours to
give a gift to her grandmother.  She wonderedsomewhere fun
what it might be.  I suggested to her not to give6.) Volunteer to help compile pictures for the
a gift that she had bought, but instead to offerphoto display at the funeral or memorial service
something of herself to her grandmother. 7.) Be a driver: pick up folks from the airport,
I learned this lesson several years ago when adrive relatives to the funeral or memorial service
friend told me about a solution that she had found8.) Deliver and pick up any dry cleaning needed to
for helping out people who had just suffered abe done for wearing to the funeral or memorial
loss in their family. She had been searching forservice
what for the family when someone dies and had9.) Take back due library books
found that simply saying "Is there anything I can10.) Vacuum and dust the house
do to help?" had always resulted in a "No, I'mWhen my mom died, several of my friends
OK."  My friend finally came up with a solution. arrived at the memorial service and said, "We're
She went over to the family's house and polishedhere to help out."  And they made sure that
all of their shoes so they were ready for theeveryone had tea and coffee and food at the
funeral.  It was appreciated and somethingreception afterwards.  To be honest, I'm not
substantial that she could do.  She discovered itsure what they did; I just know that it freed me
was a good gift and continued polishing shoesup to talk to the people who had come to give
whenever she had a grieving friend or relative.their respects.  I was very appreciative of my
Now, most of our shoes these days don't needfriends' presence and help.
polishing.  But I think that example is such a goodThere isn't an age limitation on this either. You
one of what to do when someone dies.  Ican be 7 years old or 87. My mother-in-law is
started thinking about what a person could do forturning 90 this year.  She still drives the "old
the surviving relatives.  Of course the mostfolks" to church every Sunday.  Her other job at
common one and a very important one in myher church when someone dies is to make
mind, is taking food (a casserole, cookies etc) tocookies and squares for the funerals and
the family home.   But what else can you do? memorial services that take place there.
1.) Mow the lawn