When your child dies

>I remember a mother had her baby the same
Children are the most special part of life. Losing atime as Katie. She said to me," I'm so glad it was
child is something that few really understand. Evennot my daughter". My oldest daughter is growing
a brief life offers so much that is special. Myup and it's starting to get scary cause I know Ill
Daughter Katie Lindsey Rose, died July 1992. Shenever see Katie get married or have children. I
was just five weeks old. I held Katie after shefeel Angry, like I have been let down by Katie. Its
died and can never, would never, forget Katie asnormal to feel let down by the person who died
a person or my daughter. I also found out howor when you are looking for someone to blame
hard it is for so many to talk about the death offor his or her death.I blamed God for the longest
their child. Children are the most special part oftime and I blamed myself.
life. Losing a child is something that few reallyAnger is very common following the death of a
understand. Even a brief life offers so much thatchild. In fact following any death you may find
is special. My Daughter Katie Lindsey Rose, diedyourself angry, angry at the world. You will often
July 1992. She was just five weeks old. I heldfind that you take out this anger on those closest
Katie after she died and can never, would never,around you. You find yourself saying my child
forget Katie as a person or my daughter. I alsoshould not of died.
found out how hard it is for so many to talkHow do you imagine life without your child? "They
about the death of their child.were too young", "They were too good", "They
Many people find it easier to talk about the deathwere too healthy, "They never sin" "Why God
of your mom, dad or your wife or husband thanWhy?”, "I can't survive without him or her". All
their child. But, this is often a time that you doof these are common feelings. Your fear is, you
want to talk or share feelings. You often getare afraid it will happen again, that you will loose
from people she doesn't want to talk about it. Butanother child or someone close to you. You begin
it helps to talk. After your child dies you haveto be a little over-protective of your other
feelings of disbelief, denial, anger, depression,children.Please know that you are never alone, It's
hopelessness, guilt. Loss of appetite, sleepok to say I hurt, to say I'm scared, to say I need
patterns change, we cannot get through thea friend. No matter how old your child is when
mourning alone. It is important to talk about thethey die, the pain of loosing your child is still the
death, what you’re feeling and it’ssame. Its very difficult for most to find the
ok to cry.words of comfort to say to you, but there are
The doctor came into the room. The operationplaces you can turn, people you can talk to when
was over. He sat down and started to tell myyou feel your loosing it. You can't do this on your
husband and I about the surgery. The surgeryown.
was over but during the surgery there was aKatie had suffered from congenital heart disease,
blood clot that burst and Katie died instantly. HowCongenital means inborn or existing at birth.
could I go home without my baby? Shock wasAmong the terms you may hear are congenital
not the word for what I felt. Katie's been gone 11heart defect, congenital heart disease and
years now. I remember just after she diedcongenital cardiovascular disease. The word
everyone was right there offering to help me."defect" is more accurate than "disease." A
(Now I'd be lucky if they remember). Then thecongenital cardiovascular defect occurs when the
people stopped coming, calling, I would see peopleheart or blood vessels near the heart don't
in the grocery store, and they would look at me,develop normally before birth. Katies' story is just
turn their head, and walk off, as if I hadone of a million parents' stories out there. As I
something contagious that they could catch.surf the net I found so many, but there is help.