Words of Comfort When Someone Dies - A Personal Reflection on the Power of the Written Word to Heal

Watching someone you love die hurts.For me, when grieving and when I felt low, lonely
No matter how much you pray or beg for themor alone, I would pick up one of the sympathy
to live, your calls are fruitless and go unanswered.cards or condolence letters I received and would
Even if your loved one is in pain, and gains reliefsit and read them. Sometimes, tears would fall as
from suffering - it still hurts.I recalled happier carefree days spent with my
Like you, I have grieved the loss of dear ones.brother and cousin; but generally, I would find a
Looking back, time does ease the sense of losssense of grace, calm and comfort in reading and
and sorrow. However at the time, it seems as ifreflecting upon the higher meaning of the words.
the darkness would continue forever and noEven today, I am still touched by the sentiments
matter what folks said, nothing could erase theexpressed, especially as the sender was going
sense of loss and anger I felt.through their own grief yet still took the time and
I recall friends sending me sympathy cards andenergy to send me a card or write a few words
letters sharing their distress, sadness and pain.of sympathy. At the Service, the written words
Strange as it may seem, it was these cards, the-poems or religious texts again came into their
quiet words written on scraps of paper whichown. Preparing for my brother's funeral, I was not
made sense. It was if the sender could feel myparticularly conscious of my spirituality or devout
pain and sorrow and spoke directly to my soul.follower of any religion. Yet, was moved by the
At that time, I was not familiar with the wordbeauty and simplicity of the Lord's Prayer and
'Affirmations'. My experience of readinghymns and psalms sang at the grave side.
inspirational quotes, prayers or poems satThe sound, the quality and reverence of the
squarely in the corner of former Religious Studiestexts struck deep and I felt "yes, everything is
and English Literature lessons at school.going to be alright." This is just the beginning and
It was only during my first experience of grieftoday is a new day.
that I realised just how powerful the writtenNothing can ever replace our loved ones, but in
word is.the process of grief and coming to terms with
Can you remember the joy and elation you feltyour loss, words can be a great source of
when you received a certificate for passing yourcomfort and inspiration.
exams or slip of paper to confirm you hadIf someone you know is mourning, drop them a
passed your driving test?line, send them a card and rest assured your
There is something magical about a piece ofmessage will be heard and deeply appreciated.
paper with a message written on.